*WARNING* - THE FOLLOWING POST IS JUST MERE
CREATION. IF THERE'S ANY SIMILARITY TO YOUR
LIFE, DON'T SUE ME FOR MAKING A JOKE OUT OF
YOUR LIFE. INSTEAD, YOU CAN THANK ME FOR
GIVING YOU FREE PUBLICITY ABOUT YOUR LIFE.
I am Joshie Slump, the executive writer and host for this
prestigious Innit Apprentice. With me are Cwis da duduman and Jessie my honeybi as my assistants. Cwis, the owner of speakingtomato.com who is fascinating with dudu and tomato are rarely in Innit these days due
to work commitment. Jessie, a regular Innit chatter and a fun loving girl who can't stop laughing whenever she hears a joke.
Welcome to the Innit Apprentice. With me are 10 bloggers who have a successful fake career created by me for your reading pleasure. They will be divided up into two teams. Each team must select a blogger rep for every task. Each task can only have one winning team.
Jeng jeng jeng~
The losing team will be facing me in the Blogroom where somebody, will be fired. The bloggers will battle out until there's only one blogger remaining and that blogger, will win the title of The Innit Apprentice. Without further delay, let's take a look at the 10 bloggers'
Tze Lih, used to be found gaying around publicly with guy's who already have a GF. Due to constant whacking, beating and bad-mouthing by those girls, he decided to start a beach resort from scratch. His main intention? "Wanna beach here, let me gay with your guy".
It turns out to be succesful as all those girls who used to hate him starts to be a regular visitor of his beach. The GFs have no problem letting Tze Lih have his way with their guys as long as they can enjoy the beach. Some GF even drag their BF along to the beach even though the BF beg them not to.
Being a nice girl during her school days, Christine often being taken advantage by others. People borrow her stuff and didn't bother returning back. Some ask for her help to finish the homework but there's no thank you or any form of appreciation. Thus, she decided not to play nice anymore. She wanna be ruthless, mean and heartless.
Joining the Heartless Association, she's one of the latest addition to the board of director. She teaches people how to be more hearltess and mean when they are being taken advantage. Being so mean as the fourth director, you wouldn't wanna imagine how worse the three heartless director above her can be.
Bernard is a movie junkie and a cinema regular. However, he simply hate the snacks and drinks provided by the cinema. Thus, he started his business venture in his own BCGTL line, Blue Crimson-red Green Tea Latte. BCGTL has won "the most drink drinks by cinema drinkers" award for 5 consecutive years.
BCGTL is unique in its way that cinema patrons can choose to mix and match any B C G colouring into the drinks. However, patrons spend more time in the toilet due to diarrhea because of the colouring effect. But that does not stop cinema regulars to keep on purchasing BCGTL just because they love it even if it means spending more time in the toilet rather than watching the movie.
Pling Plang! That was the sound effect you heard when people got hit by a pan. To be precise, Vox is one of originator of the Pling Plang Pan game. A group of people will be divided into two teams and the game begins. Players will hit each other with the pan provided. When all members of a team fainted, the other team wins.
This sport is so famous that she started a Pling Plang Pan Corp. Vox aimed to provide the best training and pan for talented individuals. This activity was so famous that it smashed the world record for largest event involving fainted peoples. Pling Plang is now in the middle of discussion to be included in the next Olympics.
Jackie Loi was a victim of bully since primary school. His bully would be using plastic bat to hit him from time to time. To prevent any future bullying, Jackie made himself a titanium alloy bat. He took revenge on his bully by sending the bully to the hospital with multiple serious bruises.
Inspired by that event, Jackie later started a Titanium Ah Loi corporation to help the others who kena bully. Turns out he's a multimillionaire just by selling titanium bat, titanium bangle, titanium chain and all sorts of others titanium items to help others that got bully too. Ah Loi is the idol of every bullying victims and the worst nightmare of the bully.
Agnes was a fan of cosmetic products. However, she's sick and tired of constantly going to one particular brand just to buy an item and repeating that cycle. Why can't there's just one shop which provides the best of everything? That question soon changes her life.
Angugu cosmetics line was soon established. It is claimed to be the sole provider for the best of everything when it comes to cosmetics. Found something other than Angugu brand that is better? Bring it to any Angugu outlets and the research team will counter back with a much better product in just 2 weeks!
Isaac was a lost soul during his younger days. He wonder aimlessly on the street starring at walls and floors. One day, he saw a lizard sticking on the wall. He was admiring it for a long long time, keep on thinking how a cicak life is. A brilliant idea flashes into his mind at that moment.
He started the cicaknism advisory firm soon after that. Cicaknism theory is now a household name. Mr Isaac already given speech on his Cicaknism theory to 69 different countries. He aim to make the world a better place by spreading on his theory from one country to another and later on reuniting the whole world to believe in cicaknism.
Fascinating with dolls since young, EV would play with her dolls from day to night, night to day. Skipping breakfast, lunch and dinner are a normal routine. One day, her parents threw all her doll away. However, she used up all her piggy bank saving to buy materials to make her own doll.
Right now, she's the CEO for the Doll Empire. EV already established Doll Empire chain stores in every continent. Customers can personalise the dolls too. Design one that looks like your rival, and dress her up in trashy style. Make one that looks like Britney, and make her pregnant all over again. Its up to your own creativity!
Nigel was always thinking of how good it is if human can fly. There was once he jump off the 3rd floor balcony to see if he can elevate but sadly he ended up in the hospital for 6 months. During his warding time, he was thinking how to make everybody's dream to fly to come true.
Enter the Flyguy Airlines. Flyguy Airlines provides journey to any places at anytime. No transport for a 15 minutes drive to your friend's party? Going to a 7-11 two blocks away at 4am in the morning? No worries. Flyguy is there to help. Just make sure there's a field nearby for the plane to land and the neighbourhood can tolerate high decibel of noises.
Diese was flipping through a magazine when something catches her attention. She saw the classified page hiring maids, charity auction, selling houses and cars. As she read on, she suddenly have this urge of making big money but she want to be stand out from the rest.
Then it comes the Kakak and Nenek concept. Diese's company mainly aims to provide kakak or nenek to those who are interested. Whether to clean up the house, to have a cute lil sis, a lovely granny or simply a spoiled sis to argue with, Diese is the one you should be looking for right now.
10 bloggers, two teams and only one winner. Who will be the first ever The Innit Apprentice?